That’s So Deep

I’ve been looking through My Documents on my computer to fine old stuff I could post while I wait for inspiration to strike, and I found this gem: A short story I wrote in high school called “chatroom.” It’s about an Internet wedding, and I wrote it at a time when I was reading authors like Bradbury and Huxley and thought I was writing really profound science fiction.

One of my all time favorite classic science fiction books.

Re-reading it, I instantly realized that a question one of the characters asked doesn’t really make any sense for the setting. Also, I didn’t have very good foresight – I mean, do people go on chatrooms anymore? I feel like most people text – sometimes I use Facebook chat or gchat.

But I am ever grateful to the Barbaric Yawp for actually publishing it – the only time I’ve ever had my fiction published outside of school. So, without further ado, I present to you, in its original form:

chatroom 2341829366273189515635101011111111

02:50:26 05/04/66

bestmanforhire6328: is she coming

JacObcd15: she should b soon

bestmanforhire6328: the ceremonys supposed 2 start at 3. 10 min.

JacObcd15: dont worry shell b here

mrsM52000: 😦 if she doesnt get on itll b all ur fault, jacob. have u done nething 2 make her mad

mrM834962w: now, sweetheart, im sure jacobs just as nervous as we r, rn’t u, son

JacObcd15: its alright, sir, i understand her concerns, she has a right 2 her opinions

mrsM52000: thats right, i do. c, matthew? at least sum1 understands me

mrM834962w: dont worry dear it wont b long now

JacObcd15: what times it now

bestmanforhire6328: 2:53

JacObcd15: i wish shed get on already

mrsM52000: youve done sumthing, i know u did sumthing…o y did i let her marry such a fool, matthew? my beautiful diane is marrying a fool.

mrM834962w: itll b ok vanessa. remember what ur parents said when we got engaged

mrsM52000: yah n they were right

bridesmaidforhire01: 🙂 what a beautiful wedding this has turned out 2 b! both sets of parents, brothers sisters, all here! ive never been in 1 so big

daveyk400: yah, altho carrie, once again, failed 2 show

misterpanderson8: dont put ur sister down, dave, u know how busy she gets with the kids

daveyk400: n that barbarian she calls a husband

daveyk400: its a good thing she didnt come after that stunt she pulled. a church wedding –no1 does that nemore.

daveyk400: u cant just invite ppl 2 ur house thinking theyll come when theres a computer right in front of them. n meeting her husband be4 hand…

mrspanderson53: it was a very sneaky trick, very shameful, but chris turned out 2 b quite the cutie, didn’t he, pete

misterpanderson8: yeh, unfortunately. she glowed on her wedding day, tho, rita, actually glowed

mindymad2066: u mean she was happy? on her wedding day?

mindymad2066: ive heard of feeling panic or nevous but not happy

bestmanforhire6328: go figure. prolly cuz she met the guy 1st

mindymad2066: i guess seeing each other in person isnt the worst thing thats ever been done.

mindymad2066: i had a friend who married this guy who sent her a pic be4 they tied the knot

daveyk400: a pic? what a jerk

mindymad2066: hoping shed send him one no doubt

dianemanderson25 has entered.

bestmanforhire6328:  🙂

dianemanderson25:  im here, everybudy, ready 2 start

reverendonline0003: whenever u r

JacObcd15: were ready

reverendonline0003: ladies n gents we r gathered here 2day 2 witness the union of jacob anderson and diane madison in holy matrimony

reverendonline0003:  1st did u get ur rings in the mail

JacObcd15:  yup, got mine right here

dianemanderson25:  yeh

reverendonline0003:  k, u may put them on. now, jacob, do u take this woman, diane, 2 b ur lawful wedded wife, 4 richer or 4 poorer, in sickness n in health, as long as u both shall live

JacObcd15: i do

reverendonline0003:  n diane, do u take this man, jacob, 2 b ur lawful wedded husband, 4 richer or 4 poorer, in sickness n in health, as long as u both shall live

dianemanderson25:  i do

bridesmaidforhire01: 😦 its so beautiful

reverendonline0003: u may kiss the bride

JacObcd15:  *kiss kiss* 🙂

dianemanderson25:  kiss kiss* 🙂

 reverendonline0003 has left the room.

Copyright 2012 by S. L. Stacy

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